Howard the Duck

And we're going to [pull all of our ads in] Missouri! We're going to [pull all of our ads in] South Carolina! And we're going to [pull all of our ads in] New Mexico! And we're going to [pull all of our ads in] Arizona! Yeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaah!!!!!

Dean Skips Airing Ads in 7 Primary States

Just Be In Love When You Scream That Song

Just Be In Love When You Scream That Song, I

Some songs I've been enjoying lately:

"Staring at the Sun" - TV on the Radio : like The Polyphonic Spree if they were stuck in a factory machine

"Now It's On" - Grandaddy : possibly the single of 2k3 (after Hey Ya), also possibly the only band able to make geek-tech themed music that isn't geeky

"Be Thou My Vision" - Pedro the Lion : a little awkward at first, but a nice reworking of the hymm to emphasize the human frailty of the narrator

"Last Night It Snowed" - Ass Ponys : mainly because I've been able to mimic the titular line perfectly, but it's a good song anyway

"Last Call" - Outkast : a tough guy hip hop track that's still suave as hell

"Sinking Ship" - Soltero : at the end of a long night of painful drinking, lift your last pint of Guiness and sing unintelligbly along with this song. skip the "woos" and stumble out of the bar. this is how you make an exit.

"Cinematic" - Erin McKeown : i'm a sucker for ms mckeown's music, and that's the real issue here. a fast, light, maybe even agile song.

"Kingpin" - Wilco : i wanna be... your king pin... livin in... PEKIN.

"Anything For Love" - Robbie Fulks : how this song is even possible beats me. clean-cut noise folk with soul. at least, i think that's what i hear.

A Man of My Word

A Man of My Word

So, I followed a link from the Windows Media Player media guide today.

I swear, it isn't something I usually do but how do you resist a link that reads "Bustin' a Move for the Pope?" You don't. It is your duty as a good Catholic to find out who is bustin' what moves and how the Pope reacted. (where and when are also important but to a lesser extent) The thirty second clip features some Polish guy breakin' on the palace floor in front of the Pope throne. He wasn't bad but I'm not about to adapt it into a full length screen play.

The real reason to watch the movie is to see the aging John Paul himself. There he is with his Pope cap on his Pope throne watching some jackass spin on his head when he reaches up his hand and does the Pope wave. Done from a balcony or Pope-mobile, this gesture is a pious expression of welcome. Done towards someone in the middle of popping and locking, it looks like an especially God-Fearing "I feel you dawg."

The Windows Media Player wouldn't let me snag a direct link to the content, but searching for the terms "pope break dance" on the media guide will take you to the good stuff.

Stewart's Soiree

A more complete piece on the Daily Show town hall meeting in New Hampshire is here.

Google Searches I

Google Searches That Will Bring You Here

Apologies to anyone looking for something in specific who are totally disappointed to find no archive system as of yet. I'm trying to come up with a way to organize some of our more thought-provoking posts on the RF mag site, but that is on the back burner until the rest of RF gets back up.

But. People are finding their searches end up here. So, it being the end of the month, I've decided to present the more quixotic search strings to find their way here. (There aren't many this month, but maybe in time there will be more.)

"Encouraging Words for the Sick"
"Flaming Lips Songs that Make People Puke"

Tune in next month for another exciting edition of Google Searches That Will Bring You Here.

All Your Base...

All Your Base...

Usually, I'm not into disseminating links to inane internet quirks, but every once in a while I find something great. So, in the tradition of Super Mario Bros. 3 in 11 minutes and Terry Tate: Office Linebacker, here is The End of the World

The Dailies

The Dailies

Just discovered, thanks to my RealVid install (wait, am I thanking Real?) that Comedycentral.com has been doing a very nice job of archiving Daily Show headline segments. I always end up missing the actual show (Comedy Central is in what we call the "fuzzy high channels" on my TV), so it's a nice resource.

Also, I'd like more details on this, but apparently The Daily Show pulled together a panel of media higher-ups for spirited discussion. The CNN story I've linked is only good for a couple chuckles, no actual information on the event.

Yes, politics is an inbred pile of skin tissue, focussed more on "our party, our country" (a term I just made up and hope to use more frequently in the future) rhetoric than on actual issues (they are getting worked out somewhere inside the epidermal lump, but it's pretty well hidden from us).

But sometimes, rhetorical analysis handled properly can be insightful.

James Fallows' notes on the State of the Union

By the way, pick up the current "State of the Union" issue of The Atlantic while it is still on newsstands; by far, the best magazine being produced today.

the RealMark of the Beast

The RealMark of the Beast

Well, it's happened.

I've installed Real Player again after avoiding it like the armageddon for the past year and a half. I can already hear my computer crying about having its will broken by the software program... Real Player does what it wants no matter what you tell it. Want WinAmp to keep control of mp3's? TOO BAD, REAL IS RUNNING THE SHOW NOW!

To cap it off, the introductory audio clip tells you, "YOU'RE IN CONTROL of the most powerful media player..."

And you have to ask yourself... If it's so powerful, why does it let a fragile user like me control it? The answer: IT LIES TO YOU. This is the true sign of power.

Water, Water Everywhere

Water, Water Everywhere

Just when you thought the Mars craze had passed, you get contact reestablished with Spirit (see Andy's post below) and the Europeans have apparently confirmed water on Mars (the last time you heard about it, it was just a suspiscion presumably).

My hope is that we can blame water on Mars on an impact-created exchange of molecules with Earth.

Let me tell you why.

As someone who writes and enjoys science fiction in a variety of forms, my fantasies are reliant on the idea that we are, as far as we know, alone. For one thing, this allows a region of mystery which one can fill with fiction. If we meet a bunch of lizard-chimps on Mars who tell us "You know what, we've traveled f-in everywhere and there are no f-in wookies," well, our ability to dream that there are wookies is hampered. For another, our entire relationship with the universe radically changes. Even if all we find are microbes or maybe tuna fish, they become an integral part of the story of us and the universe. It's like if you were to write stories about life in your apartment and suddenly your dying cousin Larry moves into your bedroom... Larry now figures into your stories; even if you never have meaningful conversations with Larry and generally despise him, you're stuck with him being part of your apartment life. You can't just write him out of the story, because, well, he's dying and that's a rude thing to do to someone terminally ill. This is how it will be with the microbes. You'll look up at the stars at night and think about the millions and millions of miles of nothing but burning gas and floating rocks and, oh yeah, a bunch of parasites next door. And when we finally discover some hot, super intelligent aliens half way across the universe, we're going to have to bring them home to our solar system and introduce them to the microbes, who will do nothing but swim in circles and drool.

What are we going to do? Ignore them? They're life! You can ignore Jupiter, you can ignore Pluto... but you can't ignore life. It just doesn't happen too often. And it happened twice in the same solar system and you want to forget about it? No. Impossible.

Life on Mars is going to be a part of our day-to-day interstellar realities whether we ask for it or not. We could hope that it won't be found, even though we would really like the initial thrill of discovery...

Which is why I can only root for life on Mars to be some kind of backwash of the cosmos.

And now you know.

The General vs. the President

I watched the entire Democratic New Hampshire debate last night because I'm a nerd and was a poltical science major. Anyway, all throughout the debate I kept thinking, "Is it possible for anyone to do worse in a debate than Wesley Clark is doing tonight?"

It was as if he didn't expect to actually be asked questions. He had no answer for numerous inqueries, embarassed himself in trying to explain away Michael Moore's comments on Bush, and relied on stupid cliches all night long. (My favorite? "This election is about the future, and that's why we're here tonight." Thanks, General.)

I was shocked at his answer to Peter Jennings question about Michael Moore calling George Bush a deserter while onstage with Clark. The General basically said he didn't think it was relevant, didn't bother to check the facts, and thought Michael Moore had a right to say whatever he wants (Don't infringe on our free speech! Even if it is factually wrong!!) Clark is a General in the United States Army and someone is calling his Commander In Chief a deserter right in front of him while campaining for his presidency. Clarks says he doesn't care and it's not even relevant to him. Probably because Moore is such a great "leader." His word, not mine.

Anyway, the National Review's Byron York has a great column on this same subject.

Byron York on Wesley Clark in the debate

The Red Menace

The Red Menace

Good news from the Gusev Crater: after a scary day and a half, Spirit, NASA's robotic Mars exploration rover, has reestablished contact with an eager flight team here on Earth. The contact came early this morning in the form of a 20 minute data burst broadcast from the red planet. For the scores of scientists involved in the project, this means the hundreds of millions of dollars and countless man hours put into landing the rover on Mars won't be wasted after only a few weeks of exploration. More importantly, for me, this means more mind blowing, high quality images of Mars. Since Spirit touched down on the third, I have spent about half an hour of every morning studying the latest pictures and reading press releases about the minutiae of the Martian landscape. I have never spent this much time on a .gov website before. In fact, before the Mars project, I can't say I've ever spent any serious amount of time on a US government endorsed website.

This has major implications for our president. His administration is in charge of one of the most popular websites on the Internet (as of today it is ranked 302 on Alexa) and there isn't anything on the site that connects him to it. Think about it, every day thousands of nerds visit this site and try to found out as much about Mars as they can. What if they also found out that George W. Bush supports the search for signs of extra-terrestrial life and is dedicated to furthering our understanding of our universe through blah, blah, blah, vote for Bush. It doesn't matter that he's taking credit for something he doesn't have a whole lot to do with. Politicians do it all the time. It worked for Gore, didn't it? I can't say that I voted for W. his first time around or that I plan to vote for him in November, but if he were to change the focus of his campaign from the War on Terror to the War on Space, I might at least watch one of his debates.

The Ladder Device

The Ladder Device

Possibly the easiest way for Palestinians to convince Israel to stop with its damned wall is to threaten an arms race of the wall vs. Palestinian ladders.

As the new security fence, priced at $1.9 billion dollars has been breached.

Random Things

Some Random Fun

Got this link from NOL Mauler and thought I would share.

uber guitar playing

OFFICIAL: Family Guy About to Go Back into Production

OFFICIAL: Family Guy About to Go Back into Production

Family Guy is about to go back into production any day now despite there being no official word from Fox, according to an article in the New York Post last week. In the article Seth MacFarlane says: "We're sort of waiting on an official word, but to the best of my knowledge, the plan is to start producing a batch of new episodes without necessarily knowing where they're going to wind up." Several options are open for the eventual home of the new episodes including Fox, or the Cartoon Network, but eventually they will end up on DVD.

Click for the New York Post article.

Let's Get Ready to Rummmmmble!

Let's Get Ready to Rummmmmble!!!

I don't know why this makes me laugh so much... But it does.

Howard Dean after Iowa

I think it's the pro-wrestler mode (if Jesse Ventura's election means anything, it might just be that Howard Dean should do this more often) spiced with a maddened "YeeeeaAAAH" at the end.

Remember the Vernacular

Remember the Vernacular

Or sometimes the best laid plans ignore the actual geography. I at once cringed and laughed a few years ago when Malcom X College here in Chicago had the slogan "Capping Off the Millenium" on banners around their urban campus, somehow missing the double entendre in the street definition of cap.

On Saturday, it happened again. Marshall Field's ran an ad in honor of Martin Luther King Jr, which was filled with excruciating iconography. The worst of which read in big wood-cut Soviet-style lettering:

Celebrate
THE MAN
(and then smaller text which cleared up that the man was Martin Luther King Jr)

I know the phrase is somewhat common, but the ad's large and equal emphasis on THE MAN seems to allude more to Urban Dictionary's definition than to the traditional honorary phrase, especially when coupled with a typeface reminiscent of a cruel and faceless regime.

Perhaps it's unfair of me, but in both these cases I'm puzzled as to how such copy/design escapes the various levels of the editorial process... Someone somewhere along the line must recognize that the wording or design emphasis could be changed to avoid embarassing puns in the vernacular of the target audience. Do they knowingly reject such interpretation, or is it just a mistake of circumstance? I have a hard time fully believing either.

Trebuchet Snobbery

Trebuchet Snobbery and the Return of the King

A common misuse of the trebuchet in cinema is the siege weapon's combative use against ground troops. As any trebuchet hobbyist will tell you, the easiest way to explain a treb to someone is to refer to it as a catapult and yet the two have very little in common aside from their basic hurling purpose. A catapult (onager, mangonel, what have you), generally perceived properly, is a tension mounted device used to hurl heavy objects for moderate distances... It's target is pretty much up to chance, so a catapult is most effective against large groupings of enemy forces and large or light structures. A trebuchet, however, is a long-range sling-based weapon known for its precision; it can not fire as quickly (changing trajectory and distance are also a more involved process) as a catapult nor can it carry multiple ammunitions in one firing. The trebuchet was/is used against heavy, preferably stationary fortifications; it can hit these with more force and accuracy than a catapult would ever be capable of. While a trebuchet is certainly capable of firing on ground forces, the excess power and precision is superfluous (a giant boulder does not have to be moving too fast to flatten a human), the sacrifice of speed and area-of-effect of shots would be too great to be effective.

That said, one has to wonder what the defenders of Middle Earth's Minas Tirith (P. Jackson version) were thinking when installing trebuchets along its walls for city defense. Ye gods! The only way such a thing would be worth while is if Sauron's tower sprouted hen's legs and began marching on the city itself. In Return of the King, we watch as a few boulders crush a few targets but against half the army of Mordor such scattered shots are inconsequential. If only onagers had been installed along the front and secondary walls! Or ballistae along the fortress' gates! So many lives would have been saved. Case in point, it took legions of the dead devouring all in their path to tilt the battle towards the human side in the movie version of Return of the King, while the books' army of man (presumably, armed with proper knowledge of siege warfare) needed the dead only to tangentially capture Mordorian ships in order to succeed.

What a difference a siege makes.

One More Blogger

Memo on More (Moore?) Blogging

Scot never got the memo about RF being apolitical, but that's okay. Readers will need to get used to his incendiary rhetoric at some point or another, and it's best to start with something simple like Michael Moore. Scot's a Michael Moore defector; he used to swear by Roger and Me and Awful Truth. But then, even long before Bowling for Columbine, Scot saw Moore start to go a little loopy (maybe he'll tell us the story). And here we are. For more on Moore (pun of the day?), check out Spinsanity; there you will find some of the most independent-minded indictments of Moore playing fast and loose with the truth (a phrase which is now forbidden for the rest of 2004).

To be a dork for a second, I would like to explain each of the three current blog team member's in Dungeons and Dragons alignment terms (the idea was given to me by my manager at work, who is a serious but respectable D&D player). I am replacing Good and Evil with right and left or left and right (it is inconsequential really), but Chaotic, Lawful and Neutral will remain the same. Scot is Lawful Right, Andy is probably somewhere around Lawful Left and True Neutral and I like to think I am somewhere between True Neutral and Neutral Right. I think there's a lot we can learn about politics through Dungeons and Dragons, but I'm not really qualified to make that post.

Hello Again Everybody

Scot on Moore on Clark

Apparently, I will be posting here now too, introduction by Mike or not.

This is a test post. This is only a test. But to make it worthwhile, a few notes about crazy Michael Moore's endorsement of Wesley Clark. First of all, if I were Clark, I'd decline the endorsement, but that's not going to happen. Moore sent out an e-mail explaining his reasons for support. A few of the highlights:

1. Clark has committed to ensuring that every family of four who makes under $50,000 a year pays NO federal income tax. None. Zip. This is the most incredible helping hand offered by a major party presidential candidate to the working class and the working poor in my lifetime. He will make up the difference by socking it to the rich with a 5% tax increase on anything they make over a million bucks.

This is Moore's main thrust in his current incarnation (besides not responding when terrorists attack us): class warfare. The left has no new ideas, no passion, no drive, no real support in working class America for their radical anti-war stance. So, it comes down to taxing the rich. "Socking it to them," as Mike says. What have the rich done to deserve this? Well, they've been successful in life. They've worked hard to accumulate wealth. They are the success stories in this country. And the reward is paying 5% extra in income taxes.

What about the family of three making under $50,000? Are they less deserving of a tax break than a family of four?

2. He is 100% opposed to the draft. If you are 18-25 years old and reading this right now, I have news for you -- if Bush wins, he's going to bring back the draft. He will be forced to. Because, thanks to his crazy war, recruitment is going to be at an all-time low. And many of the troops stuck over there are NOT going to re-enlist. The only way Bush is going to be able to staff the military is to draft you and your friends. Parents, make no mistake about it -- Bush's second term will see your sons taken from you and sent to fight wars for the oily rich. Only an ex-general who knows first-hand that a draft is a sure-fire way to wreck an army will be able to avert the inevitable.

Well, there's a lot of lies in that paragraph. Bush will not bring back the draft. Recruitment is up right now. And in fact, re-enlistment is supassing the Army's goals. That's right. More troops in Iraq are re-enlisting than even the Army expected. DOn't believe me? Unlike what Moore would do, here's an actual link to facts:

http://www.estripes.com/article.asp?section=104&article=17852&archive=true

Another of Mr. Moore's reasons:

3. He is anti-war. Have you heard his latest attacks on Bush over the Iraq War? They are stunning and brilliant. I want to see him on that stage in a debate with Bush -- the General vs. the Deserter!

Excuse me, (cough, cough) Mike. You might want to read this:

http://www.drudgereport.com/mattwc.htm

Those attacks for the war are also stunning and brilliant!


Mike's never been afraid to play fast and loose with the truth though. That feels about right for a first post. Let's see if this works.

More Bloggers To Blog Things

More Bloggers to Blog Things

Andy Buchenot is going to be joining the The Machine's Still On crew as RF moves its critical writings into this forum. Another voice and one as interesting as Andy's brings variety and reduces my feeling of preaching (even if I'm right about everything). Posting will probably be picking up as a result of this and things will be more regular as we continue the major overhaul of Robots Fighting magazine. If you're getting anxious to see those changes check out the testing page. As soon as I finish the illustrations and basic structure, this page will be taking over the old main page.

Anyway, Andy can feel free to write here now, and you can feel free to read.

The Way Things Ought (Not?) To Be

Today my grandmoms and regularmom came out for lunch and visit. At lunch, our crossing conversation had me and my mom discussing a new addition to her sewing machine (it is, to my credit, a very high tech sewing machine) while my grandmas, one in a pink sweatshirt the other wearing a soft white sweater, discussed the weekend's playoff football action.

Palindrome Speaking

Two guys sitting next to us were talking about home furnishing and one said to the other, "They are the nicest wood floors I have ever seen. And I said that to him, I said, 'These are the nicest wood floors I have ever seen.'" I do this occasionally but it made me smile to know others fall into the trap as well. Palindrome speaking (a term which I just invented and hope to use regularly) is an awkward, dull and clumsy part of rhetoric, but there is something... neat about it.

For Those Who Have Rocked

Thought I'd pass on an excerpt from this week's Tuesday Morning Quarterback (see link to the left, or simply look on nfl.com) which shows the kind of thing commenators should be pointing out to you. It's these guys' JOB to watch football and tell you what's happening. DEMAND MORE!

The Panthers called a three-man rush. Marshall Faulk cut-blocked Carolina DE Mike Rucker, diving at him low; Rucker responded by jumping on top of Faulk. Brilliant play! Why? Watch Rams film and you will note Faulk often cut-blocks a DE to get underneath him while selling pass-blocking, then jumps up to catch a screen pass. Rucker knew this, and simply sat on Faulk so he couldn't get up. Marc Bulger just stood there holding the ball, wondering where Faulk has disappeared to. Carolina ended up with a sack that effectively ended the first half -- although with Rucker seated atop Faulk, at that point the Panthers had only two gentlemen rushing against five offensive linemen.

Hold your breath and prepare to be shocked...

It's Mars!

For Those About to Rock

Maybe it's mostly chance, but there's got to be some kind of skilled craftwork in FOX's coverage of the Green Bay vs. Seattle game. One astounding replay showed a closeup of Brett Favre in the center of the screen with D.D. Lewis' back taking up the bottom right corner... You see Lewis jump a little early and Brett Favre look directly at him and realize the threat. Favre stops counting and makes a change up. Now, the chances of a FOX camera man catching this moment perfectly composed like it was are slim. The chances of a producer catching the moment in enough time to kick it up to the announcers to specifically comment on are even slimmer. But there it was on my TV screen. Yes, this is the number one coverage team and this kind of thing should be expected, but they still deserve a hats off for this shot.

I've been wishing that football commentary for the playoffs (and in general) was a little bit more like what FOX did with the baseball playoffs (and world series), where the network brought in a pitcher for the Mets (I can't remember his name; apologies to him and his family). Said pitcher was detailed in explaining the strategy and method of pitching throughout the game, leaving anyone listening to FOX's coverage a little more learned.

Many (including me) are under the impression that football is all emotion and drive, because that's all announcers can talk about. Their ability to explain what quarterbacks are seeing, how blocks are working or why defensive schemes are working is virtually non-existent. So few actually understand the complexities of the strategies of the game and believe solely in hype.

Chris Collinsworth.... Don't tell us that "angels are still floating above this Green Bay Packers team". I have seen you on Inside the NFL and I know you know more about what's happened than that.

Clarify-cation

I guess I should put the real emphasis in my Soap entry on drug stores. I generally find soap in grocery stores (but I do think it takes longer than it should).

Soap

Does anyone else find it incredibly difficult to find a bar of soap in a drug or grocery store? If not, I have to doubt that you've ever tried.

I spent a half-hour at Osco today looking for some soap. What I ended up with is a Neutrogena POWER SCRUB or some sort of thing. It's basically tiny soap in a dish sponge. But it's the closest not-hotel-size thing I could find.

How can there be ten thousand types of shampoo for every "type" of hair and there be no basic rudimentary soap? I don't understand. There's not even that much body wash (which is a joke... more perfumes and less actual soap to actually get you clean... this is WHY you need to have 13 stages of cleansing substances to open your pores.... because you're coating yourself in flowery feces).

ANGER!