Madden Madness : Week 1.0

John was pretty low-key last night and Dave kept changing the channel to Hannity and Scarborough (he loves them for comedic value, and when I say "loves" I mean "loves"). But, I did run into one highlight, which acts as a lesson on the wit and wisdom of John Madden.

Plaster, plaster, plaster.

For about a minute, John Madden talked about the Carolina corners intent to "plaster" Green Bay receivers. While the discussion itself was fair enough, Madden became obsessed with the word, repeating it, defining it, using it in context until the word was all there was... at the core of a nebula of exposition. It was like some morbid study guide for an aptitude test.

Albeit downplayed among Madden satirists, this is one of the true joys of Madden. Most of what you'll see in Madden Madness will be statements like last week's, obscured statements of the obvious. However, one should not overlook John Madden's obsession with words as words; the way he delights not so much in the strategy but what the strategy is called. Indeed, John may very well be a strapping, young rhetorician trapped inside the body of a football commentator.

Plaster.

Next Week! : Philadelphia Eagles vs. Minnesota Vikings which are on paper the same team. Should be a doozy.