You and Me Were Never Meant to be Part of the Future

The great grandmother of a gaming clanmate passed away several days ago. Although he's not one that I have gotten to really know yet, I've been trying to think of some encouraging words to pass on to him.

At funerals we often end up mourning the inability of a person to continue with us, instead of accepting the ceasing of that person's mortal walk and seeing their place here for what it was in the past. Maybe I am fond of the latter idea because of the solace I find in the theology of and surrounding predestination, but I think there's a certain truth to it no matter what your doctrine or creed is.

That said. I would like to have the Flaming Lips play at my funeral. I am officially abandoning my prior request to be trebuchet'ed into the sunset, but I do with great sincerity thank those who kept this knowledge with them. You have done a great service to me and I am indebted to you. I abandon that plan because looking back it seems less romantic and more a giant logistical hassle for everyone involved in planning. I mean, if you can make it happen... great, I appreciate it. But you can move it out of the special request category. Anyway. The Flaming Lips. Really, if they could just play Do You Realize I think I'd be happy enough (knowing this would happen), because that song captures in a moment the way I feel death should be universally dealt with better than many others. "Do you realize - that everyone you know someday will die - and instead of saying all your goodbyes - let them know that life goes fast it's hard to make the good times last." That is, to me, you can't get caught up in the finality of mortal things, you make the best of the moments you share and you share the understanding that there's no reason to waste mortal time bidding farewell... "The sun doesn't go down, it's just an illusion caused by the world spinning 'round."

So that's that. If they want to play a couple other songs, I'm cool with that but see if they can somehow not make my traditional relatives walk away saying, "That was weird." Because it's for them as much as it is for anyone else. As much as I might like them to appreciate that weirdness, it's not necessarily a forum they should be doused with it in. A bit like how Christianity is handled in the same situation; it's laid out for anyone who wants to understand the calm it brings those who embrace it, but you don't have altar calls and trash like that.

I'm still hanging onto having "Be Thou My Vision" played, but I wouldn't want the Lips to be forced into it unless they were really feeling it. If they are, word. If not, you can try to pick up Pedro the Lion or just whoever has the song in their blood. But don't have Kirk Jackson or Michelle LaGroue sing "Do You Realize?"... They have wonderful voices, but I really wouldn't feel right about it not being The Flaming Lips.

Of course, what do you care? I'm dead.